CUSTOMatrix™ Insights Newsletter

“Tough Guys”

Gregg Ward, CMC, President, CUSTOMatrix, Inc.

Don is the founder and CEO of a small electronics manufacturing company that was experiencing extremely rapid growth a few years back.  Much of that growth resulted from Don’s tough negotiating skills with suppliers and clients.  But when it came to dealing with his own employees, Don couldn’t turn off his hardball tactics.  During meetings and everyday conversations his voice was often raised, his energy aggressive, and most people in his company reported feeling intimidated by him.  As a result, very few people liked working with or for Don, and even though he was building a very successful business, employee complaints and churn were very high.  To most employees, Don simply couldn’t see what was right in front of his face – that he was the cause of many of his own “people” problems.

Most companies have one or two “tough guys” like Don in leadership positions.  They’re tough not because they’re necessarily macho, arrogant, or bad people but because they’re usually unaware of how their own behaviors impact everyone around them.  If you work with or for a tough guy, it’s a safe bet that you’ve often muttered under your breath, “If only we had someone who could knock some sense into him.”

That someone could be an executive coach – someone with the skills and experience to mix it up with the Dons of this world, uncover their pressure points and find a way into their heads.   Over the years I’ve often been called in – usually by the Board or principal investors - to coach leaders like Don, alpha males who are often successful in spite of their bad behavior.  My strategy is almost always the same, go in under the radar, do a little get-to-know-you dance, genuinely empathize with them about how difficult it is to be a founder/CEO/entrepreneur (fill in the blank) and then ask “why do you think I’m here?”  Usually, I get one of two responses: either “I have no idea,” or “because I’ve been put on notice by my Board/Investors/wife (fill in the blank) to ‘change or else.’ “   The “or else” is the scary part for them, and it’s a key motivator to getting them into the first coaching session.

It’s true, everyone is different, but it’s also true that we’re all more alike than we think.  In my experience, the tough guys at the top of any company are usually too busy doing their thing to notice how their personality affects others.   Besides, they often think “my personality is how I got where I am today, why should I change?”  The problem is that they’re unconscious and operating at a very high rate of speed, sometimes running over the people they depend upon to keep the business afloat.

It’s my job to encourage them to slow them down, take a look around and examine their own behaviors in the clear light of day.  Then, we figure out what the costs are for behaving negatively and what the “payoffs” are for behaving positively.  Over time they come to realize that the payoffs are well worth the effort needed to change their own attitudes and behaviors.

As for Don, he found himself an executive coach – after a swift kick in the rear from one of his investors – and within a matter of a few months, the employee complaints about him subsided considerably; as did his blood pressure and the overall sour mood in the office.  Today, Don is still in charge, the company is growing just as fast as it always has been and the tough guy is nowhere to be found.

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